And there I was, standing in the dark. The
pouring rain touched my umbrella. It made a funny sound, like a pile of rocks
failling down a hill. I couldn’t even hear my own breathing. Which is
interesting, because I’m as nervous as can be. My heart is pouding in my chest.
My cheeks are getting pinkish and warm.
I really didn’t expect this to happen. Thought
it was just a good idea to stop by and really say what is on my mind and what
has been going on the last few weeks. But I can’t seem to get it out. It’s
pulling me down. I can actually feel my knees weaken. Though I’m not the type
to be nervous, I can honesty say, that telling someone what’s on your mind can
influence your body. I had to say it. It’s been chasing me for nights now.
I heared him open my front door. He widened
his eyes and opened his mouth. Adreneline. When he finally found a way to open
the door, he was in my room really quick. I did expect him, but not now. Not
tonight. If he needed me he would’ve come to me right away. I would’ve told him
that this couldn’t go on any longer. Not like this. He had to find a way to
persue me. That one touch of his fingers on my hand would’ve said it all. That
would be the end of the conversation. No need to say any more.
But he let himself slip. He didn’t actually
say anything useful when I looked up. No, he just stood there next to my bed
and watched me. “Say something,” I said on a very soft tone. He took his time
to formulate an answer to my order. I was so anxious to hear the truth come
out. I wanted to see a sparkle of hope
in his eyes. He turned away from my face and stared at the floor. He cleared
his throat. I was so ready for this, even at 4 am. Come on, come on now. This
is the time to spill it out.
One step, two
steps, three, and suddenly he was out the door. Unbelievable. If I were myself
at that time, I would’ve chased him, grabbed his arm on his way down the stairs
and scream. I was so angry, so furious. How dare you come in here and act like
a coward, a complete fool! He isn’t a man! He will never be! But I wasn’t
myself at that time, and just listened to the walking off the stairs. Goodbye.
Now it was my turn. I felt pretty powerful,
yet very small. I knew this would end it, it would end it all. But if he wasn’t
going to step up to the plate, I had to. So I walked to his door and pulled
out the right key. My eyes widened and my heart made jumps. Unlocked. Within
twelve steps, I would be at his room. I made it to ten, when I heard his
footsteps. He knew what was coming. He opened the door of his room and we had
eye contact. The world froze in time.
“You’re so not going to Iraq!”
“Hell yes I am and you sure know it Hannah!”
“You don’t even have the balls to tell me
straight to my face that they sent you a letter!”
“I couldn’t tell you!”
“Well you know the consequences! I thought
we’d agreed on this a while ago until you changed your mind about it!”
“Let me go my own way Hannah, I know what’s
right for me! Leave yourself out of this!”
I ran back down the stairs as the tears ran down
my face. Bye Mike, bye. I was so dissapointed. He was going to put his whole
life on the line for a stupid war he knew he’d never win.
Mike ran after me, but stopped suddenly. Guess
he knew he had no more chances. He watched me pop up my umbrella and ran towars
my car. The rain and wind had become heavier. I couldn’t even tell my tears
from the raindrops. The world tuned out, I felt nothing but rain. Rain over my
body. I dropped my umbrella and took it for a run. Maybe the rain would wash
away all my emotions and calm me down. Calm me down forever.
Based on When September Ends - Green Day
Based on When September Ends - Green Day
